" For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11
God has a plan, a perfect plan, in fact.
God has a perfect plan for each of our lives. It is often said that we don't need to worry about Tomorrow because 'God is already there'. But what about those times when you think you know what God has planned, or you think you are following His guidence, and things just don't work out? Or maybe you're just having trouble keeping the faith?
This was me, and still is me. Let me update ya'll on my last two weeks so you understand what I mean!
As you know we are currently living in Annapolis, MD. I graduated from the University of Minnesota this fall and am currently enrolled in a short Medical Billing and Coding program that the Navy is paying for as something to do until I find my role here. Well, I thought I heard God telling me to work while I was here, so I started filling out applications. Not just a few, a ton. And I was offered what sounded like a fabulous position! I was hired by a psychotherapuetic services company as a 'Psychiatric Case Manager'.
I was thrilled. After being down in the dumps for weeks after finding out about all of the necessary certifications MD requires for most jobs, none of which I have, and realizing the diferences in median salaries between MN and MD, I accepted the position immediately. I really, truly thought God was calling me to this position; the night before Travis and I had had a long, hard discussion about my employment here. I was about to take a position at a Starbucks part-time making minimum wage just to make some money and pass the time, and he was really against it. Travis' thoughts were that I had put so much time and effort into my degree, that he really felt that if we kept praying about it and completely turned it over to God he thought he would answer me with a job in my field in order to gain experience. So imagine my satisfaction when I was offered a position in my field the very next day!
Then I started working. I trained for three days and really saw into the company. I saw ethics that were not in line with my own, people that were not being taken care of and served properly, and un-trained staff. I was torn! It turned out I was hired on to fix the books, train staff, and perform duties wayyy outside of my expertise. I also carried the same title as my co-workers, while making more than them (they found out through my supervisor, another red flag). It was a horrible three days for my family. I came home so torn, so emotionally drained after watching clients go unserved all day and not knowing what to do. The minute I walked into our home I laid down; our house became unkempt, I didn't get to any homework, and my husband and I were on edge with each other. The third night I came home, took the dog for a walk, and started working on some cleaning. Travis approached me and asked how my day was, knowing something was wrong. We had a long discussion and eventually, it became clear that I had to resign from a position I hadn't even really started yet.
So, what the HECK, God?! I was SO SURE that you gave me this position, and now it's already gone?! What was the reasoning in THAT??
But thank the Lord for my husband. Jesus was able to use my husband to show me that sometimes God wants us to learn from things, to be able to see the bigger picture. This is REALLY hard for me. I hate waiting. It has taken me a full week, lots of prayer, lots of talking with friends, family my husband and my dog to even be at peace with the decision, let alone ready to listen to God for my next big move. Life is so hard sometimes, it really is. But to succeed we MUST keep the faith, and trust that the Lord has something better in mind for us.
I encourage you all to listen to the song 'While I'm Waiting' by John Waller. The words are amazing, and have helped me a lot this week :)
But life is good!! Our bills are paid, and I have school to keep me busy until I make my next move :) I'm continuing to look for jobs as well as at graduate and nursing programs in the area. Travis is loving his work supporting the Naval Academy and just yesterday got the dates of his mini-underways for the summer: He will be gone from the middle of May through late June, and again from the middle of July through late August. So many exciting things in store for us!
Please pray for us!
-that we find a church home!! we thought we had found one, but have decided to begin looking again.
-for my job/school situation, that He leads me where He wants me!
-And prayers of Thanksgiving! we are happy, healthy, have everything we need right now, and then some.
Love to all of you!
Deidre :)
